You’d probably realized by now that no man is an island and that as human beings we cannot live by ourselves alone. We are hard-wired to have a companion, either in a form of another human being or a pet. You choose. Personally, I prefer my dogs over humans, not because I dislike being with them. It’s just that, humans tend to magnet themselves with drama (guilty) and that I don’t really give a crap about other people’s drama because most of it are from their own actions.
(I have enough drama myself, thank you very much—and just because my dog don’t talk back)
But ever wondered how it feels to be the persons whom others considers as the “convenient friend”? The person who gets chosen last in every group works because none really see her or him as this “friend-friend” or the person who always get left behind. I know.
This short article is not written to dis other people, it’s for you to re-evaluate yourself if you’re one of those people who makes use of a convenient friend.
As a self proclaimed ambivert, I would like to enjoy the best of both worlds.
Ambiverts can take the best of both,” personality psychologist Brian Little, author of Me, Myself and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being, told The Huffington Post. “Those who are ambiverts have rather more degrees of freedom to shape their lives than those who are at extremes of other ends.
Though I always make sure that there is a space between me and my friends. Like—leave a space in between you and the holy spirit. I prefer it this way, there are times that I would pour my heart out to another individual. Provided that I can trust you, and that our wave length is a matching sync and you are spontaneously as peculiar as me and could adapt to my weird ass randomness self. This is where I started to notice the trouble coming in, that’s when I realized that being an ambivert had made me that “convenient friend”
A convenient friend is someone you only call your friend when you need something or someone you’d ask to do your errands . In my case, when they need something and they’re too lazy to do it themselves, BOOM! I’m instantly their favorite person. Like, sure I’ll do your crap while you guys have fun and sure I’d like to be left out in some of your plans, thanks a lot for inviting me! Not. Fucked up right?
Do you know how shitty that feels? To be the last option? To be that substance at the bottom of the barrel? like whoever scrape crap from the bottom of a barrel? why do that when you could just wait for a new set of barrels to arrive. Why would you waste your time making that person feel like he or she is actually your friend when in entirety they aren’t. So what’s the point? Do you see them as a convenience to your existence? Exactly right, you’re always the last person they’d think of inviting but the first person when they need something from. It’s like they’re user friendly. Friendly lang pag meh kelangan. Sadnu? The psychological effects of what you are doing to that person is something you will never understand if you do not how it feels to be at that bottom, he will constantly ask himself why you guys are doing that, why would you treat him that way, or what has he done wrong for you to do that to him? You are literally killing him in the inside.
When that individual actually considers you as his friends, but you guys bust that menu up, damn. This is why I prefer my dogs over humans, they don’t see me as a butler, but as an actually human being with emotions and feelings and all that organs wrapped beneath my skin.
I AM A HUMAN BEING DESERVING OF A FAIR TREATMENT. F*ck you for asking.
They don’t ring you up when they see it’s convenient on their part, they don’t ignore your existence, or leave you out of plans, or even leave you out of group chats. They just don’t fucking do that. Dogs see you as this glorified master. So fuck humans. Get dogs!
So this is for those Human-friendly-user. Place yourselves at the bottom of that barrel, and see how hard it is to climb up, because every time you do so another batch is piled up on top of you. That the moment you could see the rim of that barrel, guess again Satan here’s another batch of friends. It just keeps piling up on top of you making it harder to get back up again. A piece of advice? Stop being a dick. Yes, you heard me, stop being a dick. Stop being a dick to your friend. Stop being a hypocrite, if you don’t like that person, tell him. Stop making him think that you actually consider them as your friend when in reality you don’t. You’ll make his life a lot easier if you do that. He would actually appreciate that even more. Crossing his list out with your name, finally no more free loader!
But beware, there might come a time that you’d be needing his help and when that day comes… He might not be there to give you a hand. Because of how you treated him, he might think “oh, he treated me like sh*t back in the days, now he needs my help? Not today arsehole” He might even ignore you. So re-evaluate the way you treat people, not just your friends but others as well. Sometimes, their attitude is based on how you treat them, if you treat them like crap, they’d prolly give you crap as well. If you treat them nicely, they might reciprocate more than that. Before you act always consider their place and dwell on their shoes, how it would make them feel, how it would make you feel if you were on their places. Would it be good or bad? Consider these next time you call up your convenient friend…
And for those “convenient friend”… People will use you for their own personal advancement, to the point that you would have almost nothing, giving these people everything. It’s not bad to say no and became selfish at times, just don’t make a habit out of it. Always consider your own personally well being. Because at the end of the day people will use you, still be useful anyway. There’s no shame in saying that you’ve helped a friend even if that person does not treat you like one. That is not a good deed ignored. Be useful–Kill them with your kindness. But remember to keep some to your self. Who else is going to stand up for you but you.
Another one bites the dust…